Many women don’t get stuck because they’re not good enough, not smart enough, or not professional enough. They stop, get tangled, or move slowly because they play small in relation to their potential and capabilities, choosing to believe they’re still not ready or able in order not to take a risk.
What does playing small actually mean?
Playing small shows up in many different ways. It doesn’t necessarily look or feel like fear. Often, it disguises itself as something that seems reasonable to be cautious about, or as the need to slow down.
Very often, it looks “logical.” It can sound like the thought that you should get another degree or certification before taking the next step. Or the urge to go over every word again and again before a sales conversation or a post goes live. Or the feeling that it’s still too early to say out loud that you know what you’re talking about, because someone might criticize you, question you, or “catch you” being not professional enough.
You might recognize this voice from the time you didn’t ask for a raise, even though we both know you deserved it.
In business, it can show up on a daily basis. For example, when you only share content once it’s perfect and you’ve worked on it for hours. When you avoid sending a follow-up message because you don’t want to bother anyone. When you postpone raising your prices because you’re worried about how clients will respond. Or when you don’t tell a potential client just how good you are and how much you can actually help them, because it feels uncomfortable, maybe even a bit pushy. And then they don’t choose to work with you.
There’s one thing I want to say very clearly: this isn’t just about necessary caution, and it’s not required in order to check your professionalism. Professional self-review is meant to improve, sharpen, and move you forward. Playing small can look the same from the outside, but in practice it delays action, reduces visibility, and creates distance from the next step.
The difference isn’t in the intention, it’s in the outcome.
Playing small is, in essence, a form of self-minimization.
The Price Your Business Pays
When this behavior repeats itself, it doesn’t stay only “in your head.” It turns into business decisions and those decisions determine your pace and your results.
Sometimes this shows up at the very beginning, when everything feels new and intimidating and comparison with others kicks in. But it doesn’t stop there. Even once there are clients and some momentum, there are moments when the business asks for another step forward: committing to results, setting boundaries to clients, making a clear offer, showing up consistently in marketing. And then that familiar doubt appears again: maybe I’m not really good at selling, maybe I’m not good enough, maybe it’s better to slow down.
And yes, even when there’s stability and proof of success, the growth stage brings a new set of challenges: more responsibility, more visibility, more influence. Exactly then, in the face of expansion, the old voice can return and offer the same familiar solution: “Let’s not stand out too much.”
In practice, the cost of this “caution” looks like fewer inquiries, inconsistent marketing, pricing below your actual value, delaying proposals, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, or staying with misaligned clients because “at least there’s income.”
These aren’t huge decisions. But together, they limit your business’s growth and create an ongoing business policy of contraction.
Protection Isn’t the Problem. Letting It Decide Is.
It’s important to understand: the voice that tries to keep you small doesn’t show up to harm you. It shows up to protect you, to reduce the risk of rejection, disappointment, failure, or criticism. Its intention is good. But the price it charges is very real. It leads us to stop, hesitate, slow down, or choose differently in order to reduce anxiety in the moment. And most of the time, the one paying the price for that short-term sense of relief is your business.
The goal isn’t to silence this voice. The goal is not to let it run your decisions. To recognize it in real time, and to remember that it’s not a sign to stop! It’s a sign that you’ve reached the edge of your comfort zone, exactly where growth is required.
Playing small may protect you in the short term, but in the long run it comes at the expense of your dreams: opportunities not taken, a voice not heard, and potential left on paper.
One Small Step Forward
If you feel like you’re in that moment right now, on the edge, with familiar old voices rising, I invite you to pause and look at the situation through a different lens. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you can succeed. Include the experience you’ve gained, the training you’ve completed, your current mental state, your motivation, your connections, the resources available to you, your support system, and anything else you have going for you. This isn’t a list meant to cheer you up. It’s a reminder to look at reality, this time from an angle that focuses on what’s already strong and working. What we choose to focus on is what grows.
The next step, however small it may be, is possible and closer than you think.
And on a personal note, if you recognize yourself in this text, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Sometimes, in the middle of a growth process, we need a space to look at our fears without letting them drive our decisions, and support that helps us choose differently.
In an intro call we can explore together where you’re playing small today, what is asking to grow next, and how to move forward without leaving yourself behind so your dreams don’t stay in a drawer, but become real movement in your life and in your business.
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